The Formidable Adversary: F.E.A.R

The Formidable Adversary: F.E.A.R
Photo by Thought Catalog / Unsplash

Fear has two meanings: 'Forget Everything And Run' or 'Face Everything And Rise.' The choice is yours. - Zig Ziglar.

The barrier separating your current reality from the bright future you aspire to, standing between who you can be but have not yet become, and holding you back from living your bedazzled life is none other than FEAR itself.

Fear is our mind's alarm system serving as both a guardian of survival and a canvas upon which our deepest insecurities and uncertainties are painted, compelling us to either confront or evade that which lurks in the shadows of our mind.

Most of us evade rather than confront our hidden fears. We cower at the thought of revealing our true selves to the world, we engage in self-sabotaging behaviours that limit us, and we dream small to keep ourselves safe from failure.

In Mel Robbins' audio book "Take Control of Your Life", she had a coaching session with six people who described what their fears were. Each person described their fear as:

  • Fear of regret, which leads to overthinking and never taking action.
  • Fear of failure, which leads to mediocrity and never trying things out.
  • Fear of decluttering, which makes them hold on to things they don't really need because it gives them a sense of control.
  • Fear of the past and feeling like an imposter in their new life.
  • Fear of never realising who they truly are, which makes them live life like a chameleon.
  • Fear of abandonment, which makes committing to relationships a challenge.

The one that resonates most with me is the fear of regret - getting to the end of my life and realising that I never truly lived out my potential, and that I settled for the lower version of myself, one that has no voice, no identity, and no agency.

What is your biggest fear?

Whatever your biggest fear is, I am here to let you know that you have all it takes to break free from its shackles. You are powerful and you are enough. Yes, you are! You just have to believe and take corresponding action to regain your freedom.

Here are 5 steps to conquer fear:

  1. The first step to regaining your freedom is recognising and acknowledging what you are afraid of. You can't overcome something you don't acknowledge. You must turn on the light so that you can see the fear and address it effectively.
  2. How are you responding to this fear? Usually, people respond to fear by developing unhealthy coping mechanisms to shield themselves. For example, a response to fear of failure might be to lower one's ambitions. By aiming low, the risk of failure is reduced, but then the reward of fulfilment is missed. We must engage vibrant awareness to keep track of our negative responses to fear so that we can replace them with positive ones.
  3. Define what it is you want. While recognizing what you don't want can be helpful, it's equally important to have a clear understanding of what you do want. You don't want fear to hold you back any longer, but what is the future you are reaching for? Staying on the example of fear of failure, the next step would be to define the big dream/vision you are reaching for and why it is important to you.
  4. Take small simple steps. you must remember that change is birthed through actions and not through intentions. Bill Gates once said, "Most people overestimate what they can achieve in a year and underestimate what they can achieve in ten years".
Aim big but start small.
  1. Seek support and accountability. Fear can be isolating, and dealing with it on your own can be challenging. Seeking support from friends, family, or a coach/therapist can be very useful. Fear thrives in silence and secrecy, speak up and get help!

Finally, remember that overcoming fear is a gradual process. Embracing a growth mindset is very important to unleash your full potential and live a bedazzled life.

I hope you've found these 5 steps useful. Your biggest fear is the doorway to your greatest achievements, and you hold the keys to unlocking them!

Stay dazzling,